New Year, new me?
Yes, the title is a question. As 2017 draws in everyone will have New Year resolutions to change something about themselves in one way or the other, but hardly anyone of us follow these resolutions. Which begs the question; do most of us even follow these resolutions we make?
Resolutions are basically things ones wishes to improve on in some way or the other; but what if you feel like you have been at you best during this year. And that is exactly how I feel about my 2016.
2016, I believe has so far been the most amazing year that I have had in my life. I’m not saying it was perfect, it did have its up and downs but its how I came out from these ups and downs that made a difference.
So this everybody is a year in reflection.
After a pretty kind of shitty 2015, I really wasn’t expecting much from 2016 but who would have thought that it would turn out to be my best year yet.
This year has been the year where I believe I discovered myself. It was during this year that I discovered my passion for writing, it was during this year that I discovered what my aims and goals in life are.
It was also during this year where I discovered my true potential in many areas and aspects. It was during January that I discovered that I had been given a very top position within my school. Since I was about 13 years old, in year 8, when I witnessed some of the seniors being sworn into this leadership position, I envied them and knew that one day I wanted to be there too. And, I was in the same position in January. To be honest when I got the news that I had made it past the vigorous interview process, I was shocked. But most of all I was excited, scratch that, I was over the moon.
But that didn’t mean that I failed to notice the few sneers I got from a couple of my class mates, because they felt like I didn’t deserve the position and they felt like their friends should have gotten the place instead. This made me question why I got the position in the first place, until someone from the selecting panel told me that I gotten the position for a reason and that they saw something in me. This gave me a huge confidence boost.
Then came the actual part where I had to work in the a team with the others who had been appointed to this leadership position, but this was quite impossible; seeing as some of them had made it their life mission to make my life a living hell. The thought of resigning from the position had crossed my mind several times. Hell, the torment had even affected my health. But I’m not going to dwell on this too much, because it just brought negativity to my life.
I came out of this experience stronger than ever and that is thanks to my amazing friends, my writing and to an extent my family.
Speaking of friends my 2016 was mostly made because of them. It was during this year that I discovered and got rid of all the toxic people in my life, and finally opened up to a few people that did nothing but bring me up and made my life so much better. I’m not one to show my true self or reveal things about myself to people quite quickly, neither am I one to express love (any sort of love); and my two closest friends are no exception to this. Yet, they still stood by me and knew that even though I didn’t say it too much or show it, I cared deeply about them. They have made my happy when I’m down, we have laughed together and made memories together which will never be forgotten, and I would like to thank them from the very bottom of my heart for my helping with making my 2016 ten times better. So thanks for that Sanah and Arlene!!!
Being on the subject of laughing with friends, I have this one friends with whom I have a very special relationship with. When it comes to personalities ours are totally different, but we get along because we literally kind of on the same level of crazy. Also there are somethings which I like and she is the only one who can relate sometimes because both of us have a little bit of a tom boyish streak. When I’m with her not one moment is dull and you will always find us laughing. So Cynthia, thank you for all the laughs, memories and conversations. Also thanks for listen to my daily ranting about issues and problems that surround my life :’D.
This year I also rekindled with a friend that I close with when we were kids and somehow we hit of again. And she is still the same amazing person I knew when we were children. She is extremely supportive and was kind of the main person who helped my push through the time of the year when I was getting tons of hate. So thanks for that Celine.
Also special shout out to Aashni, a girl with whom I have had a weird love hate relationship right from the beginning. There was a time about 3 years back where we literally got into a physical fight, but now we’d probably be beating up someone else together. Honestly I don’t know what I’d do without her.
Paayal, someone who is far away from me (like in another country) but still someone I will always make time for. Also special thanks to Wambui, Priyanka and Ashmitha for making the past few months’ memorable ones.
I also have a few other friends with whom I am not extremely close with but I know that I can count on them and they should know that they can count on me at any time. Two of them with whom make my English lessons and kind of gave me the motivation to actually start writing. One of the two is part of the small group that really helped me, when I was having a difficult time with the hate. There is also someone else who really helped me and I hope I was there for her enough when she needed to be brought up a little. You guys may think you play a small part in my life, but you have played huge roles in helping to make this year amazing. So thanks guys.
2016 is also the year in which I shared my writing with the world and its all thanks to the encouragement form the people above.
I was also a free lance Journalist for my internship and the feeling of having my own byline in a news paper was thrilling.
The main downer during this whole year was the fact that I didn’t do as well as I expected in my AS level. However the good thing about this is that I am now pursuing my dream career (Journalism) instead of law. So I’m choosing to look at the positive side of things.
Another kind of high light is that I went back to the UK, however only for a holiday and to have a look at a few universities. If you follow me on Instagram you’ll know why this was kind of a highlight.
Something I have realised is that my anxiety is always going to be there, unfortunately. And for some reason it has been resurfacing quite a lot these past two -three months.
My relationship with my family (like any normal family) has had its ups and downs but I love them regardless. And mess with any of my close family members, and you will have me to face. (trust me I can cause a lot of emotional damage to you) :’D
This year I am proud of the desire that I have developed to help in society in any way that I can. That means helping the environment, wildlife and people in any way that I can (mostly the first two though). I believe that me being part of a NGO called Stand Up Shout Out (SUSO) may just be the first step to me making a huge difference.
Another major lesson that I learnt during this year is that people will talk about you (me) whether I’m doing good or bad and that I am always going to have those handful of people that hate me. However, I have become immune to hate because if there is one thing that I have learnt its that they do not know the real me. They base their hate on assumptions, like for example a few of my haters think that I am a spoilt brat, which I know for a fact I am far from. So whatever the haters say, it does get to me a little however I choose not to dwell on it too much.
So 2016 thanks for being a year of many firsts, laughs, smiles, inspiration and hope. I feel like I have grown as a person quite a lot this year.
Also since I’m coming out with my blog, sorry (kind of) to anyone that I may have offended through this post. But hey, I haven’t mentioned names and this is a blog after all.
One thing I know is that 2017 is going to be a year full of change, because I am moving away from home. However, I am kind of opening up to change slowly and learning to embrace it. Hopefully it the experience turn out to be good.
So good bye 2016 and I hope 2017 is going to just as good as you were.