Confessions and tips from an over thinker.

Confessions and tips from an over thinker.

confession

It is my nature to over analyse and over think everything I do. Maybe it is because of the many negative things that have happened to me in the past. Thing is hardly anyone can tell what I am thinking or why I do, what I do. Recently I told my two closest friends about all the mental struggles I have gone through and they are the only two people in the world that know about these struggles. I tell my mum literally everything but I haven’t even told her, because I kind of feel she will not understand.

My friend then told me something. Mind you she is such a positive person always looking at the bright side of things, and this what I always admire about her. She told me: ‘always look at the bright side of things because if you want something so badly then it will happen’, and I have seen this work for her on a number of occasions.

I on the other hand over analyse everything so much, to the very last detail and this has caused me to push some people away. Which is something that I regret very much. Though I am trying to follow my best friend’s advice it is going to take me some time because, like I said over thinking and over analysing situations is like an in built defense mechanism. But I have to learn to sometimes “go with the flow” as my friend always says.

Where one door closes another opens

Another thing that I have learnt is that, when something bad does happen, a door for something better opens. For example in my first blog post I mentioned that I did not do that well in my AS levels, and that I cannot pursue law anymore. I also did mention that I decided to fall on to, my back up which was journalism, because of my passion for writing. Hence I began a two week internship at a news paper, which is published weekly. The first three days were not what I was expecting, but later things started to look up and now I am looking forward to see my first byline in this weeks edition. Also this newspaper is distributed in three other countries apart from where I stay.

This whole experience has made me even question as to why I wanted to law in the first place. These two weeks have been a real eye opener and I would like to also thank everyone at that news papers office, for giving me such a wonderful opportunity.

How to overcome being an over thinker

If there is one thing that I have noticed about being an over thinker it is that, it just makes you emotional and sad. Speaking from experience I know getting rid of this habit can be quite difficult.

One thing  someone can do to rid of this habit is to accept things for the way how they are and just go with the flow. I’m not saying do this for every situation because sometimes over thinking can be of some help. But, going with the flow in some situations is necessary as it helps reduce the chances of one getting stressed and depressed. It also stops one from pushing people away.

Another thing that someone can do is live for the moment and live in the moment. Enjoy things the way they are, don’t look to over analyse things and change them. I can assure you that once you are able to do this, looking back at your life you will have many happy moments to reflect on and smile and laugh about.

Also don’t be afraid to take risks. It is the nature of an over thinker to over analyse every decision that they make, hence preventing them form taking risks; not knowing that these risks could lead to amazing things in their life.

Distracting yourself can also help greatly to stop yourself from over thinking. Do this by finding an activity which will help you keep calm and stop you thoughts from jumping all over the place. Examples of some of these activities are: swimming, zumba, exercising, golf or even yoga.

One of the main reasons that people over think in the first place is because they want things to just perfect. So, in order to stop over thinking one must realise that to achieve perfection in everything is impossible. We should learn to accept things for what they are and look at the beauty of the flaws so as to avoid thinking of ways to change things and situations.

These are just a couple of tips on how to stop being an over thinker if you are one. At the end of the day whether you choose to let go of this habit is entirely up to you. I am slowly letting go of it and it is not an easy task, but as they say “old habits die hard”. Things have started to kind of look up for me and lets hope that I can successfully shed off this habit of overthinking.

-Sonaili

 

 

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